40.5 weeks and a Birth Story

By 38 weeks I was starting to feel real shifts in my body. At my doctors appointment that Monday they told me I was not dilated but starting to efface and that I should plan on going overdue like most first times moms. Even though work was close by, and I was only working half days, my body was telling me it had enough. My stomach was upset, my appetite was coming in waves, I felt light headed, my Braxton hicks were picking up in intensity and frequency… by Thursday I was done with work. Mo and I had an amazing date night, walked around the flatiron, topped it off with frozen yogurt, and returned home to watch 24. I am glad I got so many episodes in because I think it will be a while until I can watch tv again and settle into baby routine ☺

So Friday morning I wake up at 7 am as I feel liquid coming out of me. I stand up and more liquid. Every 30 minutes… gush. My water must have broken! I start panicking, thinking about the reality of labor. No contractions, just an aching aching back. Mo and I gather up our stuff and head to the hospital convinced we are about to have a baby. But a few hours later and multiple tests confirm there is no amniotic fluid. WHAT?! What happened? The fluid had stopped by 11 am and I thought I had lost my mind a bit.

Confused, but trusting the doctors, we return home. But the rest of the weekend is funky! I start having “show” which usually signifies the beginning of labor, and at night the normally tight Braxton hicks contractions are becoming more painful. I can still sleep through them but I pause every time I get one. I am trying not to read too much into any of this because I know how unpredictable labor is and I am not even dilated! As this leads up to Sunday night, once again the painful Braxton hicks start up again. In fact, as I am talking to Megan on the phone I stop to pause as a strong one comes on. I have a few more strong ones, try not to think about it, and go to sleep around 12. By 2 am I am awakened by a really strong contraction… and this continues every 10 minutes for the rest of the night. No sleep for me! By Monday am they are still coming every 10 minutes apart and I am EXHAUSTED.

Contractions continue through the morning and afternoon, and they don’t stop but the rhythm is unpredictable between 3-10 minutes. I know they have to be 5 minutes apart to go to the hospital and I also know I have been in early labor for over 12 hours and I am not progressing to longer, stronger, and closer together like they taught in the class and at the doctors office. Am I really in labor?? I had to convince Mo to stay home from work, and I was almost ready to send him back to the office, feeling guilty it might be another false alarm. I am worried that I will need pitocin to speed things up, or that I will be in pain, without sleep for a full week in a long early labor. I decide to go to the hospital no matter what by 8 pm to get checked but also to explore induction options because the idea of these painful contractions without another night of sleep is enough to put me over the edge ☺ But something shifts around 5 pm. For a full hour they are 5 minutes apart! It’s go time and I feel a little more hopeful this is it. We leave for the hospital an hour later but keep the hospital bags in the car not to jinx it.

I am 2 centimeters dilated with strong contractions and almost completely effaced. I am in labor! We can be admitted! Even though I am not that dilated, the contractions are strong enough that there is no need to send me home. I can either settle into my room or go for a walk. We choose to go for a walk and grab our bags. We sit down at a diner to get my last bite of food/energy but the contractions are getting stronger and it’s hot. So we grab a frozen yogurt for me and a bag of snacks for the night as I have to pause on the street to work and breath through contractions. On the way back to the hospital I actually have to collapse on Mo’s back in front of a group of homeless people to get through a contraction. Now I understand my body is moving into active labor and by the time we settle into our amazing room and meet our amazing nurse I have already become 4 centimeters. I breathe through contractions for the next hour or so and our families surprise us to say hello. We sit and joke and as a strong contraction comes on I stop and take long deep breaths and wiggle my hips to get more comfortable. My labor was mainly in my back but powerful. In retrospect that birth class was a complete waste of time and money, I'm glad we didn't stay through the whole class and I am also glad we didn't hire a doula since I knew I would rely on the epidural and I had done really well on my own through the "easier" parts. By midnight, after 24 hours of early labor, I decide to get the epidural and give my body a chance to relax. Other than confusing and slow, labor was really enjoyable and empowering. I would not be afraid to go through it again and all my fears about it were unnecessary.

Mo goes to sleep and I try to sleep. I am no longer in pain but I have nerves and my body still feels like it is going through major shifts. I try to relax as much as I can and get a couple hour. Also, I’m not crazy about the epidural. I’m not numb from the waist down, I can move and shift, but it’s a weird sensation. At 7 am I am 7 centimeters and they break my water. I rest and relax and panic just a little bit as I start thinking about the potential for pain as I push, it’s getting close. At 10 am I am 9 centimeters but they want to wait as long as possible for the head to get down as low as possible so that I won't have to do as much pushing work. I am also feeling some intense pockets of pain with the contractions that the epidural doesn’t cover but stay calm and breath through them. I add a little dosage of epidural and apply heat packs. I don’t want to add too much more epidural because I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I am sure by 12:00 pm that I am 10 centimeters and ready, but my doctor is delivering another baby and they say unless I feel a huge urge to go to the bathroom, it’s just giving the baby more time to descend. Well pretty soon I am feeling the huge urge to go to the bathroom, and I know I am really, really ready. I am receiving oxygen and relaxing while Mo is pacing the room smiling and panicking all at once and I am so ready to be done with labor that I am no longer nervous.

Our new, amazing nurse goes to get the doctor and they give me a boost of confidence that they can tell I am going to be a fast pusher, that I will do great, and I decide I will prove them right. It’s a great room, a great nurse and doctor, and she shows me how I am going to push and on the next big contraction I bare down. And I do, and I had NO idea how much energy it would take!!! It’s the most energy I have exerted in my life but such an adrenaline rush and on the first push the baby descends down into the canal and by the second push I can feel it between my legs! And it doesn’t hurt! I feel pressure and I feel powerful, but I am not in pain. We are all laughing and joking between pushes and I think it’s this good energy that keeps me going. By another 15 minutes of good pushing the head is out!!! And they ask me if I want to look and I definitely don’t want to because I don’t want to get freaked out and I am enjoying the experience so much more than I imagined. It's not like the movies at all. Mo looks, but only to see the baby from a far away angle, since we had decided he would stay by my head the whole time. And they tell me the baby has dark hair which gives me even more energy to want to meet it. I know they are prepping to cut me and I am okay with it and after a few more minutes my baby is out and they hold him up so I can see it’s a boy and WATERWORKS. I feel an immediate, bond, love, and gratitude for the little man that has joined our lives as he lays on my chest and we sob together.

39 weeks

The baby is coming, and we think soon, but even though I have every symptom of pre labor in the books there is still a possibility I will of course go past my due date. The past two nights I've had "painful" contractions I can talk and breathe through that last several hours and then are gone the next morning and then there's all the other stuff you don't want to write about even in a semi-private blog. Here's what two people look like who think the water has broken and that they will be having a baby in the next day... still don't understand what happened but going to file it under mystery pre labor body wackiness:

ps - we LOOOOVVVVVEEEE 24, Mo watches season 2 on the big computer with headphones while I am just starting season 4 on the couch with the laptop so we can still be in the same room. Our Saturday night was clearly a wild one.

Counting down...

When will you arrive?
Are you a boy or girl?
What will you look like?
Who will you act like?
Will we be good parents?
What is sleep deprivation like?
How much will labor hurt?